


Goldicocks

by shinysylver



Series: Mating Games 2014 [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dildos, Dreams, Humor, Love, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 12:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1649393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysylver/pseuds/shinysylver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is looking for a dildo that fits him just right...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goldicocks

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Mating Games for a theme of fairy tales and happily every after.
> 
> Content Notes: Stiles is 17 here so technically underage in some areas. 
> 
> This is a Scott/Stiles, with metaphorical references to Stiles/Ethan/Aiden, Stiles/Isaac, and Stiles/Derek. I feel bad about the allusions to Isaac...he got the short shrift literally. I swear I love him, but the crack demanded it!

Once upon a time in a faraway land known as California there was a teenage boy in dire need of an orgasm. Not just any orgasm, but the kind of bone melting, muscle relaxing orgasm that made all of your troubles fade away. 

The teenage boy, known by the slightly unconventional name of Stiles, had tired of the wrist aches and awkward angles that came from fingering himself and decided he needed to get a dildo. Being a master of research he quickly found the online retailer known as Goldicocks and immediately ordered the toy known as the Big Bad Wolf. 

Unfortunately, he soon found out that the toy was much too big. If Stiles didn't know better, he'd think it was two dicks merged into one and no matter how much he lubed and he stretched, it wasn't the right fit. 

Stiles was feeling increasingly desperate—and just a little bit sore—so he ordered again. This time his only concern was for it to be smaller—much smaller—and he ordered a dildo that was long and thin. It was called Digging Deep and he was hopeful that finally he would be able to hit that elusive spot.

When the toy arrived it was immediately apparent that the reality did not live up to the hype. Try though he might—and he did try—the dildo was just a little too short. No matter how vigorously he pushed and twisted he just couldn't get deep enough. Stiles could feel his climax just out of reach and in his frustration he threw the dildo across the room. 

Determined to get a refund for the misnamed dildo, Stiles emailed customer service. He made sure to include a diagram of the male anatomy with thorough notations as to why the dildo they advertised as long was in fact not. His frustration was rewarded with a complimentary replacement. 

The new dildo was their best seller from a very popular line. It was a guaranteed winner, certified Alpha product of the year in 2012, but Stiles was skeptical. It looked good and it felt good, but it was missing something. He was finally able to get off, the dildo managing to hit his prostate when he angled it just right, but it was too much work. He wanted a dildo to make his orgasms less work not more. 

Stiles had all but given up, resigning himself to a life of aching wrists and mediocre orgasms when he got an email from Goldicocks advertising their new products. There in front of him was the most beautiful dildo he'd ever seen. It wasn't too long or too short. It wasn't overly big or too small. Best of all it curved slightly, just enough that Stiles _knew_ it would easily hit his prostate.

He wasted no time ordering and when it arrived the Boy's Best Friend was even better than he'd hoped. It felt right in his hand, comfortable like it had always been there. The curved shaft hit his prostate almost immediately and made him see stars. Each thrust was better than the last and he finally managed to achieve the orgasm he'd always dreamed of. 

And so our hero finally found the dildo that fit him just right and lived happily ever after…

**

Stiles jerked awake. "Fuck."

"Stiles?" Scott asked. He was sitting in the chair next to the bed. Ever since the incident with the Nogitsune, Scott hadn't left Stiles alone. "Are you okay?"

"I just had a dream about dildos and I think I'm in love with you."

Scott blinked at him. "What?"

Stiles scrubbed his hand through his hair and sat up, suddenly uncomfortably aware that his boxers were sticky. Great he'd had a wet dream about Scott. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, dude."

Scott stared at him a moment longer before smiling. "Good. Cause this whole possession thing made me realize that I'm pretty into you, too."

"Really?" Stiles asked. He was so not used to having his affections returned.

"I wouldn't lie to you," Scott said. He moved over and sat next to Stiles. "I'd _never_ lie to you."

"I know," Stiles whispered. He leaned closer to Scott. "You're my best friend."

Scott closed the distance, pressing their lips together, and for the first time Stiles thought that he might actually get a happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are much appreciated.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [shinysylver](http://shinysylver.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
